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Wasted Motorist Slams Car Into Fried Chicken Restaurant, Then Publicly Pleasures Himself At Crash Site

Wasted Motorist Slams Car Into Fried Chicken Restaurant, Then Publicly Pleasures Himself At Crash Site
A New Jersey man apparently had a wild night before swerving his vehicle into a Crown Chicken in Philly on Monday morning. We assume he was on his way to grab that hangover meal when he lost control of his car, but not too sure what caused his next course of action. Maybe he just REALLY likes fried chicken?

As HuffPost reports:

Vincent-wade-mugshotOn Monday morning, Vincent J. Wade, a 34-year-old Jersey man, allegedly got wasted and crashed his car into a Pennsylvania Crown Fried Chicken, Philly Mag first reported. Then things got a little out of hand — or in-hand, if you think about it.

Video taken at the scene shows a completely nekkid Wade, who appeared to be choking his own chicken right next to the wreckage…

Despite being naked and only 400 feet from an elementary school, Philly Mag reports that Wade was charged with driving under the influence, not indecent exposure or public lewdness. Wade was released from jail after posting a $500 bond, according to Philly.com

The man who shot the video told Philly Mag that Wade appeared to be pleasuring himself.

“Oh, he was most definitely making himself feel happy,” the onlooker said.

Thankfully, no one was hurt in the crash, and the chicken-c**k-pie enthusiast did only minimal damage to the restaurant.

Whatever he was on, we definitely don’t want any! But, we’re still wondering how he only got charged with DUI after getting buck-nekkid and handling business so close to an elementary school?

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